Roller Coaster Ride

I feel like I have been on this never ending roller coaster ride ever since Chris gave us the "go ahead" to move forward in our journey to adopt one of the children on RR. (website - www.reecesrainbow.org ) I do have a particular child that I would love to adopt. She is actually the one who my girls were picking out clothes for and thinking of ways to decorate her room.

I know it is possible for someone to come along and commit to her before I am able to do so. That realization is heartbreaking to a large extent. It is however, also a good thing for a child to get a loving family and home. So...if I don't get my sweet doll baby than I know someone else will take good care of her. (I still want her for my little girl).

Anyway...back to my roller coaster ride. As I have begun to tell people about my desire to go forward with adopting a child with Down Syndrome I have gotten so many different responses. One family member told me to get the idea right out of my head and that it was too expensive and to forget about it.

I can't imagine I could ever put it out of my head. The thought of adding to our family is such an exciting thought. I feel that we would not only be providing a safe, loving, and caring environment for a child, but I can only imagine all that a child will do for our family. The thought of someone else to love is enough reward in and of itself. Just think of all the love one of these special children can bring to our family!

So my family member not only wants me to forget the idea, but doesn't want to have any part in fundraising either. This stinks because she knows a lot of people!

I have told myself not to worry because I know this is meant to be and not to let this person change my mind. I have also been told by the many wise people I have become acquainted with through RR to keep moving forward. (It is funny how I feel so close with people I have not met. I think just knowing they are going through something similiar has been a huge help and support).

After recovering from the blow of no help and support I think to myself..."Alright, if we can just get the money for the homestudy and maybe some commitment money together the rest will come." Then I come up with an idea to ask a different family member for a little loan. I was so sure that they would help because this is just meant to be and it is all going to work out. Well, I was wrong. Not about this adoption being meant to be, but about the help. I got a no.

Here I am back to square one. I think I am going to talk to everyone I possibly can and ask them for help and support. I know I'm not going to let these twists and turns get me off course. It just stinks though.

I guess if you really want something you have to work for it. You would just think helping a child find a forever home and a Mommy and Daddy would be much easier than this.

I guess I had better start writing those letters.