A Bundle of Emotions

In some ways an adoption is very similiar to being pregnant. For instance a friend of mine had brought up at one point the cravings. At first I thought no way, she's nuts. How could you be having all these cravings if you aren't really pregnant, but boy was I wrong. I have never in my life craved so much junk food!

Then there are the emotions that go with it - very, very similiar to those pregnancy hormones. One minute you are feeling great and everything is going well and then out of nowhere something happens to set you back and you start to feel a little discouraged.

Then there are the stories. I have heard stories where the bonding between an adoptive parent(s) and their child does not happen right away. That it can take awhile. I'm not really worried about that at this time. I'm more concerned with just gettting her. It is amazing how much you can love someone you have never met before. Sort of like when you are pregnant. You love that little bundle of joy without ever laying an eye on him or her. Lucky for me I at least have a picture of my sweet girl to look at all the time.

As excited as I am to bring Milana home the one thing that I worry about right now is the money. I go through periods where I am so confident it will come. I'm praying, my friends are praying, people I have not met are praying and I am so thankful for all of the prayers. I know in my heart the money will come. I just have to learn to be patient.

It is so hard to have to be patient though. It is possible that I could have my dossier (all my paperwork) sent to Eastern Europe in the next 3 weeks. That would be fabulous because if I do get it sent by then I could be travel in June. This is our goal - to travel in June once school is out (or close to it). It is just scary that looking into our account we aren't even close to raising the $24,000 we need. I am thankful for what we have, but again this is where the mixed emotions come in and I start to worry a little.

I did send out a request for fundraising ideas and got several. I am in need of a fundraising committee (I think) in order to pull off some of the ideas. Who knows maybe I can pull some of the things off on my own. We'll see. One idea was to find someone to donate the money - all of it. That would be in some ways the easiest way, but I don't know how to go about it. I am not good at asking people to donate money. In my initial letters that I sent out to get donations from people it didn't go so well. I think people think (or thought) I was asking them for like $20,000. I would have been thrilled with whatever they sent me whether it was $5, $10, $20, $100, etc.

I guess I'll just have to keep on praying and try to be patient. A good lesson yes, but I'm not sure I can handle the lesson right now and the stress that comes with it. Not when I am concerned with bringing our newest baby (ok she's 2 1/2, but like my other children 19, 8, and 8 they will all always be my babies) home.